


Whoever I Am

by spiders_stars



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2012-09-13
Packaged: 2017-11-17 10:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/550577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiders_stars/pseuds/spiders_stars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared considered himself a smart and curious boy and meeting guys online seemed like a good way to learn everything. Maybe lying about his age wasn’t the smartest idea but it wasn’t like he could tell anyone the truth. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**h0nryd0g69:** hey babyy u wanna h00k up???

Someone had once told Jared he was too smart for his own good and that meant he was bound to get into a trouble. Really, Jared didn't think he was much for trouble but the IM box flashing on his screen suggested otherwise. 

Not like Jared would really waste his time on someone who wasn't capable of proper spelling, complete words, and whose screen name was so blatantly foul. He hadn't really been cybering long but Jared had higher standards thank you very much. 

**pada_dimple:** Not with you, ever. No.

Before the person, who was likely some creepy old man wearing a sweat-stained wifebeater and scratching his rolls of fat while he leered at the screen, could respond Jared blocked his name and clicked back into the chat room. Jared figured he had every right to be selective about the people who occupied his time. After all, he was the one they all wanted; his profile said he was sixteen years old and that seemed to get all the guys in the room salivating. 

Jared was actually thirteen but they didn't need to know that and you know, smart for his age and all. Curious too. That was kind of the thing that had led up to all of this internet exploration. Jared was curious about everything in life and he always had been. When he was younger it was always, _why is the sky blue, Mommy?_ or _where did that new baby come from, Daddy?_

So when Jared had hit puberty and his wandering eye and active imagination didn't linger on women but men instead, Jared needed to pursue that curiosity. He'd asked his brother - who had scoffed and shaken his head and shoved him from his bedroom. He'd asked his mother - who had patted his head and offered him one of her Special K crisps while insisting he let her finish her phone call to Aunt Tracy in peace. 

Jared had even considered asking his dad but, well, he wasn't an idiot. 

Which was really why Jared had taken to the internet where he discovered pictures and porn and then the chat rooms. Real people who would talk to him and describe such dirty things and Jared wanted to drink it all up. 

**full10inchz:** dimplez huh? wanna let me trace em with my hrd cock? cood slick u up with my cum

Scrunching his face up, Jared blocked the user and browsed the names in the chat room, hoping to recognize one. He'd never chatted with anyone who made a completely lasting impression but right now he was kind of desperate. He had tried watching some of his favorite videos - with the bigger men bending younger boys over the couch and having their wicked ways with them - but it just wasn't cutting it. 

What Jared really wanted was someone to talk to him, to tell him all the dirty things he wanted to do to Jared's tiny ass. Of course, Jared would never tell them his real age but his imagination was active enough he could put the pieces together. Besides, he had a pretty good feeling any guy who was over-eager about talking to a thirteen year-old was probably not someone he should be talking to in the first place. 

Jared harbored all of these little fantasies about meeting an older man that he gradually coaxed into a relationship but, well, that was probably a little idealistic. Or a lot idealistic. A boy could dream. 

**JR_star has entered room MidnightFantasy.**

Sitting up in his chair, Jared slid just a little closer to his screen and glanced once over his shoulder. There was something different about the user who'd just entered the room but Jared had no idea why. Probably simply the fact that his name wasn't some ridiculous misspelling of dirty words that made Jared roll his eyes. 

**seXybeasty11:** supp JR? feelin hot n bothered 2nite??  
 **full10inchz:** he aint gonna be 4 u. we all no ur full of it.  
 **seXybeasty11:** stfu. like ur really 10 inchz.

"Oh my god," Jared half laughed and shook his head, clicking on JR's name to private message before the man could leave the room. Honestly, Jared wouldn't blame him but he had to give the guy a shot. You never knew when you'd find someone who could at least entertain you for an hour.

 **pada_dimple:** They're kinda a lot huh? I hope you haven't just been scarred for life.  
 **JR_star:** Not too much I guess. I take it you're about to tell me you're not like them?  
 **pada_dimple:** Not at all like them. Mostly because I'm probably not a slimy old guy sitting in my underwear in my mom's basement.   
**JR_star:** And how do you know I'm not a slimy old guy?

A grin slowly pulled at Jared's lips and he inched just a little closer to the screen. Sometimes he could just tell if a conversation with a random stranger online was going to be amazing and this one had real potential. As long as he managed to not spaz too much and send the guy running. Every now and then Jared had a tendency to get a little carried away. 

**pada_dimple:** You don't really give off slimy old guy vibes. Are you one?  
 **JR_star:** Nope. Just a guy, bored and curious. I'd ask if you're one but my gut says no, you're not.  
 **pada_dimple:** Your gut would be right. I'm only 16. How old are you?  
 **JR_star:** 16? Damn kid, what are you doing in a place like that chat room with a bunch of sleaze balls?

Jared felt that little twinge of guilt he always got when he lied about his age but saying he was sixteen had the guy calling him _kid_ already. Admitting how young he really was? No, that wouldn't go over very well. 

"I am not a kid," Jared sighed, glancing at his reflection in the mirror. "Well, not completely. Mentally. Whatever."

 **pada_dimple:** Probably the same thing you were doing, looking for someone to talk to. And I am not a kid! How old are you anyway?  
 **JR_star:** Man, I'm 28, you're making me feel old.  
 **pada_dimple:** I thought you said you weren't a slimy old man!  
 **JR_star:** Hey now! Shut your mouth. Didn't your Mama ever teach you any manners?  
 **pada_dimple:** Sure she did, I've just forgot them. Mama huh? You wouldn't happen to be from Texas?  
 **JR_star:** … you're not stalking me right?

It was impossible to believe his luck. What were the chances of finding someone else from Texas in a chat room? It had to be fate, Jared was sure of it. All the signs pointed toward this being a good thing. Already there was a huge grin on Jared's face and he wondered if it would be too childish to ask JR to friend him on their messenger this soon. 

**pada_dimple:** Nah, I'm just from there as well, I know the lingo. Soo do you have a name or should I just call you JR?  
 **JR_star:** You can call me JR. I don't suppose I should call you pada_dimple, though that is adorable. PD? Pada? Dimple? Sir Dimples?  
 **pada_dimple:** Hah, yeah you're funny. You can call me Jay and not adorable. Cause I'm totally not.   
**JR_star:** So you're ugly? That's a crying shame.   
**pada_dimple:** God, dick, I totally hate you.  
 **JR_star:** Oh Jay, don't be so cruel. You'll break my heart. 

The giggle that exploded from Jared's lips was possibly the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard and he was incredibly glad there was no one around to hear him. Something about JR's easy banter made him feel all warm from head to toe and Jared bit at his bottom lip to try and stifle some of his grin. 

It really wasn't working. And Jared _really_ didn't care.

**pada_dimple:** I apologize for your poor broken heart, should I kiss it and make it feel better?  
 **JR_star:** Pretty sure that would be a bloody and slightly vampiric thing to do.  
 **pada_dimple:** Riiiight. Maybe I should kiss something else to make you feel better?  
 **JR_star:** Why Jay, coming on to me already? Barely a few minutes chatting and you're nearly begging for it.  
 **pada_dimple:** Isn't that what you came here for?

There was something weird twisting in Jensen's gut and it wasn't all that horrible. When he'd first caved into the idea of going online and exploring those infamous chatrooms Katie and Mike were always giggling about - clearly they had too much free time on their hands at the hotel too - Jensen had thought it would be funny. He'd had no intention of actually having a real conversation with someone. 

Especially not a sixteen year old someone who appeared to be adorable and promiscuous all at the same time. He was coming on to Jensen without hesitation and then that sweet username of **pada_dimple** that stood out like a sore thumb among the other raunchy names. People occasionally told Jensen he was out of touch with the real world - working a night job could do that to a person - but Jensen could have sworn sixteen year- olds weren't always so forward. 

But some part of Jensen was curious, fascinated by this boy and his quirky sense of humor, so he couldn't just stop talking now. 

**pada_dimple:** Uh, sorry. Too much? I get carried away.  
 **JR_star:** No you're good. And you're right, mostly. Though curiosity brought me here in the first place. You frequent these rooms? For...  
 **pada_dimple:** Cyber sex. I guess I came first for curiosity too but I wanted more. I keep hoping to find someone who keeps me interested for a while.  
 **JR_star:** Damn. You're pretty smart for your age, huh?  
 **pada_dimple:** Trust me, you have no idea. I get that a lot though.  
 **JR_star:** That sounds... strangely ominous. Shit brb.

"God, finally." The blonde on the other side of the counter snapped her gum too loudly and tapped her hot pink nails on the lobby desk. "I've been trying to get your attention for like, an hour."

Jensen had only been inside from his break for half an hour and this girl certainly wasn't there then, or in the last five minutes when he'd glanced up, so she was full of shit. But he worked in hospitality and he had no choice but to smile and turn further from his screen. "Sorry about that. How can I help you, ma'am?"

The woman scoffed and shook her head. "Do I seriously look old enough to be a _ma'am_? I need more towels for my room like, right now."

"Right of course, here I'll just get..." Jensen spun in his chair and stood, reaching up to grab three extra towels and turning back to offer them to the woman. 

Working the front desk in a hotel, especially the night shift, was quite possibly the dullest job imaginable. Technically they called Jensen's shift the _swing_ shift; he came in at six PM and left at two AM but it might as well be overnight for the complete lack of action he saw. There would be the few late stragglers checking in but mostly it was people like this bitch, out of towners whining and pleading for _more_ of whatever cheap necessities they couldn't go without.

Jensen watched the woman walk off - without even a thank you, the whore - before sighing and rubbing his temple. Why did he still have this job?

 **pada_dimple:** Have you abandoned me?  
 **JR_star:** Shit sorry no, I'm just at work. Had to deal with bitchy guest.   
**pada_dimple:** Guest? Should I dare to guess what you do?  
 **JR_star:** Ha. I work in a hotel, perv. You _sure_ you're not the slimy old man?  
 **pada_dimple:** Ugh this again? Tell me about the bitchy guest. Or about you. Whatever you want.  
 **JR_star:** You want to know about me? How sweet, such a charmer.   
**pada_dimple:** I am rolling my eyes at you. And I know you want to tell me.  
 **JR_star:** Yeah okay, I kinda do. Maybe you can spare me from the dullness that is my job. And my life.

"So wait, you've actually been talking to someone online?" Katie perked up, looking up from the stack of papers she'd been filing. "You know, when we told you about those chat rooms it wasn't so you'd go and get yourself a virtual boyfriend. Getting out more means meeting real people, not some fictional dude who's probably just fucking around with you."

Jensen flushed and ducked his head down, rolling closer to the front desk. He knew he shouldn't have told Katie about Jay; it was just... they'd been talking for almost a week now and Jensen was kind of enthralled by the kid. He was funny and smart - though when he'd complained about his math homework the night before it certainly hadn't seemed like he was in a very advanced class for being sixteen. He was sweet and caring, and he always listened when Jensen felt like whining about work or guests. 

And Jensen couldn't stop thinking about him. There was something dangerous about Jay and Jensen wasn't entirely sure it was just the age thing. Sixteen wasn't that young, after all, maybe he was even an old sixteen - almost seventeen. Maybe Jensen was just kidding himself. 

"Jen?" Katie sighed and nudged him with the toe of her sneaker. "I'm kidding. Tell me about the guy. You guys done the - what's it called? Ohh _cyber sex_ , have you done that yet?"

The flush of Jensen's cheeks grew and he groaned, letting his head fall hard down onto the keyboard. "I really hate you."

"Ackles, you break it and it's coming out of your check," Mike hollered and swept across the lobby in all his manager glory. 

There was a pretty good chance Mike was the worst manager in the history of the entire planet but somehow he still kept his job. It was a flat out miracle. Jensen pushed himself up and scowled. "I quit. I'm so out of here."

"Now, now, Jen, don't get your silky panties in a knot. We want to hear all about your internet boy toy." Mike laughed and planted his hands on the front desk, leaping easily over it and coming inches from kicking Jensen square in the jaw. 

"He's not a boy toy. He's just...he's a friend. Just a kid- I mean, a guy. Just someone I've been talking to and he's friendly. Nothing wrong with friends." Jensen glanced from Katie to Mike and shook his head. "And he's a hell of a lot better than you two."

"A kid, huh?" Katie ignored the insult and smirked, inching closer to Jensen. "Are you perving over little kids online, Jen? That's creepy."

The comment made Jensen think of Jay and his teasing about being a slimy old man and smiling now? Really not the best choice. Katie considered him with slowly arching brows and Jensen coughed loudly and shook his head. "He's sixteen, not a child and certainly not a _kid_. Besides, we've done nothing. Don't you two have something better to do with your time off?"

"Oh, right. Come on Katie, let's leave Jen to his pedo bear ways and go get some grub." Mike dropped an arm heavily onto Katie's shoulders and dragged her toward the back.

Jensen vaguely waved goodbye, forcing himself to listen to the back door closing and scanning the front lobby for lingering guests before booting up his computer. He wouldn't admit just how excited he was to log onto his messenger, just to see if Jay was there waiting for him like he usually was. 

They didn't have to meet in the chat rooms anymore; they were on each other's friends lists, and Jensen didn't ask Jay if he still went to the rooms but a part of him liked to think he was enough. Sure they had yet to be any real cyber sex but it was really just... awkward. Sometimes the things Jay typed really worked Jensen over, made his cock uncomfortably hard and press on the front of his jeans, and there Jensen was in the lobby of the hotel he worked not really able to do anything about it. 

But their conversations were good and Jay always seemed so happy to see him online so maybe Jensen was worth not getting that virtual sex kick. 

**pada_dimple:** JR! You're on early, usually don't see you for a couple hours.  
 **JR_star:** Yeah, gonna be a slow night. What's up?  
 **pada_dimple:** The usual, homework and my parents are being dicks. I need to go to Walmart for a project and no one will take me.  
 **JR_star:** You don't drive?  
 **pada_dimple:** Oh um, no. I don't really have time to learn.  
 **JR_star:** Must be a major pain in the ass though. Your friends at school give you shit about that?  
 **pada_dimple:** Nah, none of them really drive either.  
 **pada_dimple:** Well I mean I really don't have many friends.   
**JR_star:** Ah, I know that feeling. I've only got Katie and Mike and as you've heard, they're dicks.   
**pada_dimple:** Shh. Don't talk about dicks. Cannot handle it tonight.   
**JR_star:** No? Why?  
 **pada_dimple:** Seriously? At my age? Even talking about dicks gets me worked up. Especially with you.

Jensen could feel heat crawling up his cheeks and he blew out a shaky breath, taking a moment to lift his head and look around the lobby. _This_ was the thing about Jay, like he somehow knew exactly how to be suggestive without getting too lewd and Jensen's mind could easily fill in all the little details. 

It was becoming increasingly more difficult to not give into the urge to do more.

 **JR_star:** And why is it particularly worse tonight? Aren't you kind of always worked up?  
 **pada_dimple:** Mostly but see, there's this guy. We've been talking a lot lately and I can't really tell if he's into me. I've been thinking about him a lot though and it's starting to drive me a little insane.  
 **JR_star:** Ahhh yes, sounds very frustrating. Maybe he's just super oblivious?  
 **pada_dimple:** Or maybe he only talks to me during his work shift and he can't jack off in a hotel lobby.  
 **JR_star:** Well damn, maybe he should change that.   
**pada_dimple:** I wish he would. Any idea when that might be?  
 **pada_dimple:** Seeing as you seem so wise on the issue and all.  
 **JR_star:** I'm off tomorrow. I've got errands to run but in the evening time? We could meet here?  
 **pada_dimple:** Yes. Definitely. Now tell me about why your friends are being so awful.  
 **JR_star:** Would you believe, it's because there's this guy...

The man on the screen moaned low and deep and Jared's head tilted to the side to get a good view of the angle the man held his partner in. It really didn't look all that comfortable and Jared sighed and hit the back button. His palms were starting to get a little sweaty and he clicked his messenger for the twentieth time to make sure he was visible for JR when he signed in.

Over the week they'd been getting to know each other Jared had created lots of little fantasies about the man. Even though he only had a vague idea of what he looked like and was maybe way off mark. Jared had considered asking for a picture but JR would likely want one in return and Jared was a little worried just how that would play out. He may act a lot older than his age - and therefore could pull off pretending to be sixteen - but he was too skinny and scrawny to look it. 

Jared would be crushed if JR stopped talking to him because he was _too young_. Especially when they were finally going to have _more_. Which was currently why Jared was browsing the porn. He wanted to be on his game tonight, he wanted to literally blow JR's mind with his first cybering experience so he'd keep coming back.

"Jared?" There was a knock on the door and Jared had roughly five seconds of heart stopping panic as he rapidly muted his speakers and changed browsers to his homework before his bedroom door was opened.

Spinning to face his dad, Jared forced his breath to remain even and kept a smile on his lips. "Hey, Dad, how's it going?"

"We're about to head out. Megan's already next door with Tiffany and Jeff won't be home from work until late. Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?" There was a slightly patronizing smile on his dad's face and Jared swallowed a scowl.

Sometimes his parents made a joke out of his intelligence; they wrote off his behavior to wanting to be a know-it-all and acted like he was just a petulant child. One time Jared had tried to tell his family over dinner that he felt like a thirty year-old trapped in a thirteen year-old’s body. His mom had pointed out how sweet and innocent he was, his brother had said he was a lame thirty year-old virgin then, and his dad had explained that he knew nothing of a _real man's_ world.

So Jared had to put up with comments like these and it took an absurd amount of strength not to roll his eyes. "Yeah, Dad, I'll be good. Have fun with Mom, see you in the morning."

"Alright, don't stay up too late."

With that his dad left, leaving the door open and Jared waited for a few minutes until he heard the front door close before crossing his room and shutting it, turning the lock. 

Sure, okay, maybe Jared's mom was right and he was innocent and Jeff was definitely right about the lame virgin thing but Jared was pretty sure he knew all about being a _real man_. Maybe he didn't have a wife and kids but Jared would never have those things and he didn't want them. He could totally handle himself out in the real world no matter what his dad might think.

 **JR_star:** Hey Jay. Ha. Still amusing.

Jared turned back to his computer, eyes growing wide when he saw the IM box. He really hoped JR hadn't been waiting long. 

**pada_dimple:** Sorry, my Dad just came to say bye. Got the house to myself tonight ;)  
 **JR_star:** I can feel the leer of your emoticon. Got big plans for the night?  
 **pada_dimple:** Only you. And you like my leer so don't even.  
 **JR_star:** Clearly I've been too transparent. Would you call me cheesy if I told you that made me grin?  
 **pada_dimple:** You are totally cheesy. You wanna hold my hand and sing me love songs and shit.   
**JR_star:** Haa and you're so romantic in return.  
 **JR_star:** BTW I meant to ask, would you mind sharing a picture? I'll share one in return of course. Just, if we're going to do this thing tonight, I'd like to know what you look like.

Jared's mouth dried up and he bit down on his bottom lip. What would he do if JR completely lost it when he saw just how young Jared looked? They'd been getting along so well, Jared almost felt guilty about the idea of lying to him even longer but he knew JR just wouldn't understand - no matter how sweet he could be.

No one understood. 

**JR_star:** Sorry, was that too forward?   
**pada_dimple:** No it's good, you're good. I just... maybe am a little nervous. What if you don't like how I look?  
 **JR_star:** Can never know until you try. I'll share my picture first if you want?  
 **JR_star:** Maybe I'll be the ugly one! Here, take this picture of me and if I'm still worthy of you then you can share one in return.

Jared's hand shook the entire time he waited for the picture to download and now he was stuck staring in shock. "Fuck me," he whispered, heat crawling through his body as he stared and stared and waited for the image to change. 

JR was fucking _gorgeous_ with those full pouty lips and freckles and bright green eyes. The man was way more than worthy of Jared, he was _too good_ for Jared. The longer he stared the more his blood boiled and Jared palmed over the top of his boxers to relieve the way his body felt overheated.

 **JR_star:** Damn, that bad, huh?   
**pada_dimple:** No, fuck. You're so... damn sexy. You're the hottest guy I've ever seen.  
 **JR_star:** Now don't get carried away. But thanks :)  
 **pada_dimple:** Seriously. I feel like I cannot process how hot you are.  
 **JR_star:** Dude lol now you're making me blush.   
**pada_dimple:** Ugggh don't give me those mental images, I won't make it to the cyber sex.   
**JR_star:** Now that's a hot idea. So, do I merit a picture?  
 **pada_dimple:** Well... alright but please don't laugh at me. I swear I'm not anywhere as hot as you.  
 **JR_star:** I won't laugh, I swear. Just want to have a face to put with my imagining.   
**pada_dimple:** Ookay but I'm still growing okay? So don't judge too harshly.  
 **JR_star:** Jay, just send the damn picture.   
**pada_dimple:** Okay okay. Here you go.

Jensen felt a little ridiculous sitting on his bed with the laptop on his thighs, to his right was a bottle of lube and a stack of tissues. He'd been twitchy about this all day, eager to get online and speak to Jay once more. The urge to talk to the boy was overwhelming and Jensen was a little worried he was getting addicted. He'd managed not to talk to Katie and Mike about him again though so that was a perk. 

The picture idea wasn't likely to help the addiction thing but Jensen had to know. He kept trying to imagine how this sweet, funny, amazing kid must look and now he just needed to know. 

Now Jensen found himself staring at this image of a boy with golden hair and dimples, true to his user name. He was... adorable. There was really no other word for it and Jensen's gut twisted with doubt and a slam of _hot_ that was almost too much. It was one thing to know Jay was young, to hear him talk about school and parents, but seeing this image was like a fist in the gut and Jensen was tangled in more emotions than he was prepared to handle.

 **pada_dimple:** You're freaking out, aren't you?  
 **pada_dimple:** That's an older picture okay? And um, I just look really young for my age I swear. I know I'm kind of hideous.   
**JR_star:** Not hideous.   
**JR_star:** Just... you can't possibly be 16. Old picture or not.   
**pada_dimple:** Well I might be a little younger but not by much I swear.   
**JR_star:** How old exactly?  
 **pada_dimple:** Come on JR, are you really going to stop talking to me just because I look like an awkward freak and am maybe a little younger? Doesn't change how we hit it off.  
 **JR_star:** You don't look like an awkward freak. You're actually pretty adorable.  
 **pada_dimple:** Wow, stop the flattery, it's seriously too much.  
 **JR_star:** Sarcasm won't get you far in life, Jay. How old?

Clicking on the picture once more Jensen let himself simply stare and process, absorbing the fact that this boy was the same one he'd been speaking to every day for the last week. Jay had a point, no matter how he looked they did hit it off but _fuck_ Jensen was already on his way to hell for talking to the kid, if he continued now he'd probably be burning in the hottest, darkest pit.

"Jesus, Jensen, you _are_ a goddamn pedophile," Jensen groaned and smacked his palm into his forehead. 

**pada_dimple:** 15\. Please don't stop talking to me? I'm not the only one who feels like we've found something here, right?  
 **JR_star:** I am nearly twice your age. Don't you have guys in your school that catch your eye?  
 **pada_dimple:** No. All the guys in my school are stupid. So you don't feel anything? You haven't been thinking about me at all?  
 **JR_star:** Jay...  
 **pada_dimple:** Jared. That's my full name, in case you were wondering.   
**pada_dimple:** If you don't feel anything and I'm wrong then I'll totally back off. I just thought maybe you did.  
 **JR_star:** I do, I feel something. You're just so young. I feel like I'd be taking advantage of you.  
 **pada_dimple:** Pretty sure I messaged you first.   
**JR_star:** Yeah okay you did. Jensen.  
 **JR_star:** That's my name.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Jensen laughed, maybe a little hysterically, and scrubbed fingers through his hair. "Talking out loud to yourself, talking to a fucking _fifteen_ year-old and telling him how you _feel things_. What the fuck?"

Maybe Katie and Mike weren't all that off base when they told him he needed to get out more. 

**pada_dimple:** Jensen. I like it. So you don't hate me now?  
 **JR_star:** I don't. I'm, god I'm so turned on by you even though I shouldn't be. You realize how fucked up that makes me feel?  
 **pada_dimple:** Imagine being my age and having to keep being gay secret and learning everything online in porn or through chats. Now that is fucked up.  
 **JR_star:** You watch porn?  
 **pada_dimple:** Really? That's what you're stuck on?  
 **JR_star:** Fuck Jay. Jared. Of course that's what I'm stuck on. What kind of porn?  
 **pada_dimple:** Started out tame, just general sex. But I've realized I've got a size kink. And I definitely like things rougher. Seeing the stronger, bigger man lifting the smaller one up and just claiming him.  
 **JR_star:** Jesus. So this would be a good time to tell you I'm 6'1", huh? Got some muscles on me. You look small enough I could just pick you up.

Already this conversation was becoming too hot. Jensen could feel the want crawling up his skin and he pushed the laptop a little further back, rubbing himself through the blankets and his boxers. Jared telling him about the type of porn he watched, the kinks he had, made Jensen want to reach through the screen and do all of those things.

 **pada_dimple:** God, really? That would be so hot. I'd love it if you lifted me up and just took me. And your lips, so full, I'd kiss them hard enough they'd get numb.  
 **JR_star:** You ever kiss anyone before Jay? Or would I have to teach you what feels best?  
 **pada_dimple:** Never have. Never done anything. You'll teach me?  
 **JR_star:** Yes, I'll teach you everything. Would kiss you and hold you up against the wall. Touch you everywhere.  
 **pada_dimple:** yes god yes. touching yourself?  
 **JR_star:** fuck yes, typing one handed and all

Jensen shoved the blanket down and shoved his hand under his briefs, curling fingers swiftly around his cock and stroking up. Already his breath was coming too quick, his skin felt like it was tightening and his pulse was pounding in his ears. Jensen had had plenty of sexual partners in the past - well not plenty but a fair few at least - and none had affected him like this. Certainly not so fast.

Sucking in a quick breath, Jensen read over the words as his fingers stroked just a little quicker over his cock. 

**pada_dimple:** god thats hot. me too got my hands down my boxers imagining its you  
 **JR_star:** you feel so good in my hand. you leaking too? all slick with precome?  
 **pada_dimple:** oh fuck yea would you lick it up? put those pretty lips around my cock?  
 **JR_star:** christ u r crazy hot. want to suck ur cock down, would take u whole.  
 **pada_dimple:** fuck so close already  
 **JR_star:** come on jared, lick ur palm and know its my lips around u

Typing one-handed was a lot more complicated than Jensen thought it would be but he could deal because there was no way he was stopping this. Just knowing he was working Jared over through words alone made his cock swell and throb. Jensen rubbed his thumb hard over the head of his cock and thrust up into his grip. 

**JR_star:** so close baby come on need more need something  
 **pada_dimple:** just came all over my hand and chest moaning your name. Now I can suck you down too and swallow everything you have to offer.  
 **JR_star:** fuck fuck yes

Jensen's orgasm burned through him and it was faster than he'd ever hit before. At the last second he aimed his cock away to ensure he didn't spray come on his computer and just seeing Jared's typed words made Jensen's gut twist with the thrill of _dirtywrong_. Jared shouldn't be making him feel this way, so out of control, and still all Jensen wanted to do was talk to him and never stop. 

**pada_dimple:** Did I get you there?  
 **JR_star:** Wasn't it obvious? That was so fucking hot.  
 **pada_dimple:** God yeah it was.   
**JR_star:** Would have liked to hear what you sounded like when you came, bet it was hot.   
**pada_dimple:** Maybe some time. I'd like that.   
**JR_star:** Yeah me too.   
**JR_star:** So you never told me, what happens post cyber sex?  
 **pada_dimple:** Now we keep talking until we feel up to round two. Sound good?  
 **JR_star:** Sounds fantastic.

**JR_star:** If I decide to never come back to my job and move to Hawaii would you still love me?  
 **pada_dimple:** Only if you take me with you.  
 **JR_star:** Okay. You can pose as my young son.  
 **pada_dimple:** Pfft. Shut up! I am too old to be your kid and if I was then you are one dirty old man!  
 **JR_star:** Ugh yeah, that joke was a lot better in my head.   
**pada_dimple:** Most things are when it comes to you.   
**JR_star:** Ouch. You are a cruel man Jared, so very cruel.  
 **pada_dimple:** Then why are you still talking to me?  
 **JR_star:** The orgasms of course.  
 **pada_dimple:** Oh yes, how could I be so foolish as to think you've totally got a wicked crush on me.   
**JR_star:** Ah see, you really do know me too well.

"Alright, who is he?"

Jared - whose cheeks were really starting to hurt from the amount of grinning he'd done over the last two months - whipped around to stare wide eyed at his older brother. The door of his bedroom was closed and Jeff leaned against it with a knowing smirk. Still, Jared thought maybe he could bluff his way out of this. "What guy?"

"The one you're always daydreaming about." Jeff shrugged and strolled closer, arching his brows when Jared quickly changed browsers to cover the IM box. "That one. The one you're talking to right now."

Jared swallowed thickly and ducked his head down. "He's um... just a friend. Just this guy. What does it matter to you, anyway?"

"Oh come on, I'm not an idiot, Jay. I've seen that damn caught in the clouds look in your eyes. This is not just a _friend_." Jeff laughed, leaning against the computer desk and fiddling with Jared's figurine of Spike from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ there. "Unless he's not interested and you're seriously pining. In which, that’s probably for the best."

Sighing, Jared glanced at the flashing notifications for Jensen's new message. His fingers twitched with the urge to reach out and see what the man had said but he couldn't. Not with Jeff right there. His heart was fluttering with the suggestion behind Jensen's words, like maybe he really did have a crush on Jared, and that brought another smile to his lips. "Nah, pretty sure he's interested."

"Great, my brother's first homo-fling." A snort fell from Jeff and Jared's eyes shot up, trying to determine if his brother was moments away from a homophobic freak out. But a beat later Jeff was shrugged, relaxing back on the desk like he didn’t care. "So uh, what's his name?"

"Jensen." Jared felt a strange sharp flare burst through him at the idea of talking to someone about Jensen. For the last two months he'd spent nearly every evening talking to this guy and it was safe to say Jared was falling hard. "He's... kind of amazing. Really sweet, always listens to me, helps with my homework sometimes. Also he's gorgeous."

"So you know him in person?" Jeff bit at his lip, glancing at the computer a little uncertainly. "I just, see you on here a lot and I thought maybe... I mean, you _know_ this guy, right? He's not just some random dude from the internet."

Jared stared hard at the computer, wondering if he could pull off the lie well enough for his brother to believe it. "Well... we haven't really um, met in person. But you know, we talk all the time and I know everything about him. It's not-"

"Fuck, Jay, do you realize how damn dangerous that is? He could be anyone! He can make up any story he wants about himself." Jeff groaned and rubbed fingers through his hair. "Come on, you're always going on about how damn smart you are and this? This is really fucking stupid!"

Like all the other times his brother got mad at him for something Jared felt the heat of shame, ducking his head down and spinning slowly in his chair to avoid making eye contact. "It's not like I told him my address. He doesn't even know my real age. We're just... he's someone to talk to. Someone who gets me. It's not that big of a deal."

"You think he can't figure that shit out? Jesus, he's obviously a pedophile! He's probably stalking you; maybe he's even watching the house." Jeff pushed away from the desk and paced around the room, arms waving around at his side. "God, it's one fucking thing to be going through this... gay phase or whatever but this is too fucking much!"

Jared's gaze finally snapped up to settle on Jeff and his jaw hung open. He knew the gay thing was a sensitive issue for his entire family but he'd never thought Jeff would say something like _that_. "Jeff... how could you say that? It's not a phase. How could... I thought you understood!"

It seemed like the anger seeped out of Jeff at that moment but Jared could see it there, right behind that _casual_ smile, like he really didn’t care. Jared was a lot smarter than they gave him credit for – as he kept insisting – and he knew better. “Whatever kid, just… be careful. Please promise you won’t give out your address or anything person okay? I’m sure you’ll get over it... You promise right?”

This time, lying to his brother was surprisingly easy. "Okay. I promise. So will you leave me alone now?"

"Yeah alright, whatever." Jeff sighed and shook his head, walking slowly out of the room. 

Jared instantly spun toward the computer, pulling up Jensen's chat box. His heart lurched as he quickly read through all of Jensen's missed messages. Or maybe his heart was still twisting painfully from the way Jeff's words had rattled him.

 **JR_star:** Was that too much?  
 **JR_star:** Or maybe too forward?  
 **JR_star:** Jay? Man, you so should not ignore me now.  
 **JR_star:** Okay now I'm getting all pouty.   
**JR_star:** Jaaaaared. Where are you?  
 **JR_star:** Ummm. Well alright, guess I must have freaked you out. :(  
 **pada_dimple:** I'm here, sorry Jensen. My brother... well it's a long story. I'm here though.   
**pada_dimple:** Jensen? Oh man I hope you're not mad at me...  
 **JR_star:** Mad? No, was a bit worried but definitely not mad.   
**JR_star:** Are things with your brother okay? Are you okay?  
 **pada_dimple:** No. Well I don't know. My family is kind of homophobic I guess.  
 **JR_star:** Homophobic? Damn. You want to talk about it?  
 **pada_dimple:** It's just a lot to explain.   
**JR_star:** You could call. Or I could, if that's easier. I get a break soon, we could talk for a few minutes. 

And just like that Jared was ready to break his promise to his brother without a single moment of hesitation. He gave Jensen his cell phone number and grinned because his heart was racing and his palms were starting to sweat in a familiar way.

This was probably a really stupid idea. 

Jensen stared down at his phone and the number there, wondering just what type of shit storm he was heading into. He'd been lucky so far, Jared wasn't pushing for anything more and after two months they still got along great. But the phone call thing might lead to something he wasn't ready for - like a stalker, which Mike insisted was only bound to happen one of these days.

But Jared was hurting and Jensen couldn't let him suffer. He didn't want to admit how already gone he was for the kid but well... here he was slipping out the back door of the hotel and bringing the phone up to his ear.

It rang just long enough that Jensen worried Jared wasn't going to answer. Like he was a teenager once more Jensen's heart was racing and his stomach was knotting up. 

And then, he answered.

"Hello? Jensen?"

It was quite possibly the sweetest voice Jensen had ever heard and not at all like he imagined. Almost like all the curiosity and innocence was encompassed in that sweet little note. 

"Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Sorry. I just... it's really good to hear your voice." Jensen's smile grew and he leaned back against the wall, pressing the phone harder against his ear. 

"God, yeah it is." Jared's laugh was enough to make Jensen feel warm from head to toe. "How's work?"

"Really incredibly dull." Sliding the toe of his tennis shoe along the pavement Jensen turned his grin up to the sky. "So what happened with your brother?"

As Jared went off on his story about his less than pleasant conversation he'd had with his brother, Jensen tried to sync up the images in his mind with the voice he was hearing. Jared's voice was pleasant, sweet and like a melody, and honestly Jensen just couldn't picture a fifteen year-old. Of course he'd been having trouble believing that age thing for a while now. 

Whenever Jensen looked at Jared's picture - which wasn't often, he swore, and he definitely hadn't printed it out to keep in his wallet or anything - Jensen thought _he's fifteen_ but the logic just wasn't there. And if Jared wasn't fifteen, he was younger. And if he was younger? _Fuck_ Jensen was screwed. 

"So basically, I'm pretty sure when my Dad finds out, I'm completely screwed." Jared sighed as he finished his story and there was a good chance Jensen's break was over but he wasn't going to leave Jared hanging now. "Like, sent to gay rehabilitation camp or something."

Jensen bit his lip to keep from laughing and shook his head when a small snort slipped out. "Sorry, that's not funny. I can't help it, you're just too cute. Don't worry too much about it okay? I know that's almost impossible because it's your entire life. But at some point you just have to accept that these things will happen. And you will be ready for them."

It was quiet for a minute before Jared sighed softly. "You sound so sure. How can you know?"

"Because... it happened to me." Jensen didn't tell people about his past very often but he'd always thought the story would come in handy one day. It had been like a little daydream, helping out another kid who had to go through family shit, and here was his chance. He just happened to care for this particular kid a whole fucking lot. 

"What?" Jared whispered and Jensen could all too easily imagine his pretty hazel eyes growing wide. "What happened to you?"

Jensen rubbed fingers along the back of his neck, glancing into the hotel to make sure the lobby was still empty before continued. "I came out to my parents when I was seventeen. Actually, I fell in love with someone but that's a different and much longer story. Either way, my parents learned I was gay and they lost it. They said the most horrible shit, disowned me, my Dad even got in a good punch. And it was painful, it nearly killed me, but I survived and look at me now."

"Ah yes, you and your glorious hotel clerk job," Jared snorted and Jensen grinned.

"Hey now, bite your tongue. The point is I made it through all the shit and even if something bad happens with you and your parents, you'll make it too. Plus you'd be surprised just how much it can shape your life." Jensen scraped his teeth over his lower lip, his heart aching strangely. The very idea of getting off the phone with Jared made him feel queasy and Jensen blew out a shaky slow breath.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Jared murmured, the comforting note in his tone more soothing than it maybe should have been. "You deserve so much better."

"Seems like my life gets a little better every day." When Jared laughed softly across the line it felt like Jensen's heart quickened. _Jesus_ this was no good. "I should probably head back in. But we'll talk soon, right?" 

"Yes, definitely. You can call whenever, this is my cell phone. Though maybe not after you get out of work because it's late. But yeah, whenever."

The doubt Jared obviously felt regarding whether Jensen would call him back was clear in his voice and Jensen was overwhelmed with the urge to reassure him. "I will, call you I mean. I promise. I'll text before I do to make sure you're available." 

"Okay, great. I will um, I'll talk to you later. And Jensen?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling me."

Jensen grinned and pulled the door of the hotel open. "Any time Jay, any time."

When Jared's phone chimed he glanced up, watching his father's lips purse in a scowl. Honestly it wasn't his fault Jensen liked to abuse his text message inbox, the guy just got really bored and Jared never wanted to tell him to stop sending texts. Because every time it made his heart race just a little more, the grin on his face growing until he was surprised everyone wasn't calling him out on the clear way he felt. 

_Jensen:_ Off tonight, when can I call?  
 _Jared:_ I'll let you know

Jared quickly tucked the phone back into his pocket before his dad could get any angrier and settled into his meal. The conversation at the table was forced and if Jared wasn't lost in the happy-building expectation of knowing he'd get a call from Jensen soon he might have thought more about it. 

But thinking about Jensen was an all-consuming thing, the best way to spend his time. They'd known each other over three months now and they spoke every day and Jared couldn't get enough. He wanted to spend every waking moment talking to Jensen, learning every little detail about him, though Jared thought maybe he'd already learned it all. 

Jared struggled not to rush through his dinner and the subsequent dishwashing. By the time he'd finished his homework at the dining table his parents were winding down for the night and Jared tried not to race up the stairs. It took the last of his patience to wait for the sound of his parent's door closing and the muted hum of their TV turning on.

"Fucking _finally_ ," Jared groaned and flicked the lock on his door, tugging his phone out of his jeans to text Jensen.

 _Jared:_ Okay, call me!

He probably could have made the call himself but for some reason it seemed important that Jensen make the call. While he waited, he shoved his pants down and kicked free of them, yanking his shirt off just as the phone rang. A bright grin exploded across Jared's face and he dove forward, snatching the phone up and pressing it quickly to his ear. 

"Hey! Man, you have no idea how long this night felt."

"I've got a pretty good idea," Jensen laughed, the words as deep and rich as ever. 

Jared _loved_ listening to Jensen. He was pretty sure Jensen actually had the best voice in the entire world and Jared's stomach knotted up, his blood heating just by those first few words. "Aw, were you missing me?"

"I always seem to be." This time Jensen sighed and Jared flopped down on his bed to grin up at the ceiling. "So why was your night so long?"

"Just wanted to talk to you and it felt like my homework would never ever end. It's almost the end of the semester, makes everything so much harder." Jared dropped his hand on his chest, wetting his lips slowly. 

"Thank god it ended then. So what are you doing now?"

"Laying on my bed in my boxers." Jared answered without thinking, pausing when silence filled the line. They hadn't crossed this line on the phone yet - just like instant messages it had taken time to warm up to the physical nature of conversation - and Jared hadn't thought this one comment would lead up to anything. But Jensen's silence continued and Jared wet his lips slowly to brace himself. "You still there?"

"Fuck. Yeah, I just... in your boxers huh? Are you trying to drive me crazy?" Jensen's voice was definitely deeper and Jared's breath hitched with the rising swell of excitement. 

Jared's fingers trailed down his chest and he imagined Jensen's caressing him instead. "No, just telling you the truth. If I was trying to drive you crazy I'd tell you how I'm slipping my fingers just under my boxers. Or how I'm already getting hard."

"Jesus, Jay, you sure you wanna..." Jensen's words caught for a moment and Jared grinned, imaging that he really was ratching the man up so easily. "You really want to do this?"

"Are you fucking crazy? Of course I do. I've wanted to do this since the very first time I heard your voice. I constantly jack off remembering exactly how your voice makes me feel overheated from head to toe." Jared slid his fingers just a little lower to circle the growing pubic hair, brushing past the silky flesh of his cock in teasing sweeps. 

When Jensen moaned it was softly, just barely there, and still the most amazing sound Jared had ever heard. It was a consuming wave of heat that had Jared moaning in return, which seemed to cause Jensen to suck in a surprised breath. "God, fuck, do that again. Moan for me."

"Jensen," Jared moaned the man's name just as he'd requested, curling his fingers finally around his cock and stroking up. "Talk to me. Tell me, tell me what you want to do to me."

"Shit, there's so much. Want to kiss you all over, take my time learning all the smooth lines of your body. Then I want to flip you over and spread your ass cheeks so I can eat you out. Think you can imagine that, Jared? My tongue working at your hole? Have you ever even touched yourself there?"

Jared moaned once more, biting his lip to keep from getting too loud. "N-no, never. I mean, I rubbed over it, haven't been brave enough to put my finger in. Would you really? Lick me all open?"

"Jesus, in a fucking heartbeat." Jensen's groan rocked through the line and Jared shuddered, shoving down at his boxers and kicking free of them now. "You wanna touch yourself there now, Jay? I can talk you through it. You can imagine it's me."

"Really wish it was you." Jared felt like his face was on fire, like his heart was going to explode out of his chest, and it was almost too much. 

"I know, I know baby but I promise to make this so good for you. Suck your finger into your mouth and get it all wet. You doing that for me?"

Jared sucked hard on his finger, spreading his legs wide and stroking his cock with his free hand. The phone was precariously balanced between his ear and his shoulder and Jared knew he was panting into the line but he didn't care. By the time he had his spit-soaked finger at his hole he was practically writhing. "Tell... tell me what you're doing. Please?"

"I'm spread out on my bed, stroking along my cock. I want to go slow but your moans, the way you sound so breathless and turned on, fuck it's driving me crazy, Jared. I want to see you twisting beneath me while I work you open. Do you have your finger on your hole now? Are you ready for more?"

There was the distinct possibility that the sound that fell from Jared was nowhere close to English. He cleared his throat and managed to gasp out something that sounded like _yes_ before he pressed just the tip of his finger forward.

"Nice and slow Jay, okay? Feel the way your body stretches for your finger, feel how tight you clench. _Jesus_ I want to feel that, how tight you are. I can imagine the way you'd squeeze around my cock as I fuck into you. Got your finger inside you now, baby? You making yourself ready for my cock?"

"Yes, yes oh my god, Jen, so good. I... I want your cock in me. I want you to fuck me and make me yours. Say you will, Jen, promise me." Jared had no idea that it would feel so intense, finally having his finger inside him, but he was pretty sure it was actually Jensen's voice.

The groan that filled the line was enough to make Jared arch up and rock down onto his finger. And when Jensen spoke once more, the pleasure was enough to nearly make Jared see stars. "M'gonna fuck you _so hard_ Jared, I'm gonna claim your body until all you'll ever want is me. You won't even be able to think of anyone else. Come for me, Jared, want to hear you scream my name."

Jared's lips parted and he was surprised he didn't literally scream like Jensen had said he would. His ass rolled down onto his finger then back up to slide his cock through his clenched fist. Jensen's name fell from his mouth in a slow moan, rising up to echoing around the room. Just as he came down he heard the best sound ever. 

Which was Jensen coming, moaning out Jared's name in a long draw without bothering to hold any of it back. Jared felt like he was going to come all over again. As it was, he panted through the all of Jensen's release, his heart racing, his come cooling on his chest. It grew quiet across the line and Jared bit his lip to keep from doing something ridiculous like giggling.

He listened as Jensen's breath slowly evened out, slowly lifting a finger to trail through the come on his chest and bring it up to his lips to lick clean. "Come tastes weird. I mean, not _bad_ just kind of weird, right?"

Jensen groaned loud across the line. "Dude, you can't tease me like that. I'm not as young you, I seriously think it is dangerous to my health to get hard again."

This time Jared did laugh and thankfully it wasn't a giggle. "Sorry old man, definitely don't want to damage you. That was really fucking awesome. I um, you enjoyed it too, right?"

"You heard me come, right? Best orgasm I've had since... well fuck, the last time we cybered. Why did we wait so long to have phone sex?" Jensen's chuckle was deep and rough, hitting Jared in all the best ways. 

Jared grinned and wiped at his chest with an old shirt then curled on his side. "I don't know but we really shouldn't have. Did you... did you mean what you said about all the um, the claiming stuff?"

It was quiet for a while - at least, too long for Jared to feel comforted - before Jensen blew out a shaky breath. "Yes. I really did. Honestly I've been thinking about it. Probably way too much. Hell, I think about _you_ too much."

Jared buried his face in the pillow to keep from squeaking. Jensen's words were like a blanket of warmth spreading through him and Jared just wanted to pack up his things and run away to Jensen's right _now._ "Me too. I think about you all the time. Which is really distracting when I'm trying to study for finals. But hey, school will be over in a week and then I'll have a whole summer to think about you all I want."

Jensen's laugh filled the line and Jared had to sit back and marvel at how lucky he was. Having Jensen in his life was the best thing to ever happen to him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are we really buying a birthday present for your boyfriend that you haven't met?" Mike sighed and leaned against the counter. "You realize this is starting to get beyond pathetic, right?"

Jensen didn't glance at Mike, just continued to sort through the knickknacks on the shelf in front of him. He should know what kind of gift Jared deserved for his birthday but the right thing wasn't jumping out. Was there something special you purchased for a July baby? Katie would probably know these things; he should have brought her along. He was sure there _was_ a right thing and he'd know when he found it, whatever it might be. 

As for Mike? Well, he could just _shove it_. "Jared is important to me. I care for him, a lot. And we're just... working up to the meeting thing."

"You mean you're waiting until he's not jailbait? This is his eighteenth birthday, right?" When Jensen chose not to answer Mike groaned and whacked the back of his head with a hard slap. "You are the single most stupidest person I know, Jensen Ackles, and when you go to jail forever I will _not_ visit you."

"Oh just shut your fuckin-" 

The ringing of Jensen's cell phone cut him off - which was probably good because Mike didn't look too pleased at where the conversation was heading. Jensen grinned at Jared's name displayed on the caller ID and quickly answered. "Hey! I didn't expect to hear from you today. Aren't you supposed to be out partying with your friends?"

"Jensen?" Jared's breath was hitched and he sniffed loudly. 

The smile fell from Jensen's face and he straightened up, glancing at Mike then away. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"My Dad... he. He found out. He went on my computer and he _knows_." Once more Jared's words hitched and this time Jensen could hear the not so muffled sob. 

"Oh, god. Are you alright? What did he do? Has he hurt you?" Jensen glanced at Mike again and finally the man looked a lot less annoyed and more concerned. 

Jared coughed around another cry and Jensen heard a burst of noise across the line that was too loud to be from inside his house. 

Frowning, Jensen brushed past Mike and headed out of the shop to somewhere quieter. "Jared. Talk to me. What did he do to you? Has he learned-" Jensen cut off sharply as a sudden, painful thought occurred to him. "Holy fuck did he learn about me?"

" _Jesus Christ_ ," Mike gasped from behind him, obviously understanding just how very _bad_ all of that would be. 

If Jared's dad knew about Jensen then there was the very good possibility that Jensen was royally fucked. The man could probably hunt him down, tell the police, and Jensen might pretend like he was completely unaware of just how young Jared was but some part of him _knew_. It was the little voice he ignored in favor of letting himself fall completely head over heels in love with this _boy_ he'd never met. 

Jared's dad was going to have him arrested where he'd completely rot away and _die_ in jail. _Fucking hell_.

"My Dad doesn't know," Jared whispered and all the worry and fear seeped from Jensen, replaced instantly with concern for Jared. "Jeff said... he said you'd worry about that. He said you wouldn't care about me once you realized how much danger I've put you in."

"No, no Jay, come on, you know me. Six months we've been talking, you have to trust how I feel for you by now." Jensen ignored Mike over dramatic scoff behind him and continued out of the mall and toward the parking lot. "Tell me what's happened, Jared, let me help you."

"He found the porn on my computer. And he- he completely lost it. He threw me up against the wall and screamed at me. C-called me all these, all these horrible names, Jensen." Jared's words were hard to make out through the tears but Jensen got the gist and his stomach felt knotted. "He told me if he ever saw me again he'd kill me, he send me to hell to pay for all my filthy sins."

"Fucking _hell_ ," Jensen spat, slamming his fist hard against the top of his car. "How badly are you hurt? Do you need to get to a hospital?"

"No... I mean, I think I'm alright. Can't see out of my left eye and my side is really sore but I don't want to go... They'll ask about my parents, Jen. They won't leave it alone. I guess I'll just, I'll find somewher-"

"I'm going to come get you," Jensen interrupted without hesitation and resolutely ignored Mike's squeak of _what??_ in the background. "I won't just leave you out on the streets, injured and alone, Jared. I could never do that to you. Pick an address and stay there, text me and I'll be there as soon as possible. Okay?"

Jared sniffed loudly once more and Jensen's heart ached painfully for the boy. "Okay. Okay Jensen I will. I just... I need to tell you, before you come, you need to know... I'm not turning sixteen today."

Sighing, Jensen tugged the front door open and slipped behind the wheel, trying to calm the way his palms were starting to sweat. "I know, Jared."

"I'm. I'm only turning fourteen. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for- please don't hate me? It doesn't matter-"

"It's okay Jared. It's all going to be okay. Just pick somewhere and text me your address and I'll be there soon." Jensen glanced over as Mike slid into the passenger seat then turned away and dropped his voice, speaking just for Jared to hear. "I love you. I'll be there soon."

Jensen hung up before Jared could respond, jamming his keys into the ignition. He could feel the weight of Mike's glare and wasn't surprised when the man spoke, "You seriously are the biggest fucking idiot alive."

"I'd really hate to lose your friendship, Mike, but if you make me choose between you and Jared? I will choose him. So just, keep that in mind when you rush to judgment." Jensen paused long enough to glare at Mike before stepping hard on the gas pedal. 

_Holy shit he was finally going to meet Jared_.

Jared wasn't entirely sure if this was the worst day of his life or the absolute best. His head was throbbing, his muscles aching, and the sharp knot in his gut reminded him constantly that he'd just lost his entire family. But his heart was racing and his palms were starting to sweat and Jared knew he was only minutes away from meeting the man he'd fallen in love with. 

As far as birthdays went, this had to be his most memorable. 

How was Jared supposed to go on now? No family, no home, no money, hell he wouldn't be starting _high school_ until the fall. Was he somehow supposed to live with Jensen? Who was amazing of course but could he really be amazing enough to let some random kid come and stay with him?

It wasn't like Jensen could possibly feel the same as him. Jared didn't harbor any of those grand ideas, he wasn't stupid. Maybe Jensen would let him sleep on the couch or something until Jared could come up with a better plan.

"Jared?"

Sucking in a sharp breath, Jared looked up and stared with open shock at the man before him. Maybe it was because one of his eyes was swollen and he couldn't see out of it but it took Jared a moment to realize that was _Jensen_ standing in front of him. Pushing himself slowly up to his feet, Jared blinked his good eye and opened his mouth, trying to figure out the best thing to say now that he was finally meeting Jensen.

So, naturally, Jared chose that moment to burst into tears. 

"Shit. Oh, Jared, Jay, it's okay." Jensen stepped forward and in the next moment strong arms were wrapped around Jared and tugging him close.

Jared fell into Jensen's body easily, curling his own arms around the man's waist and holding on for all he was worth. It felt so good to give in to the emotion and allow someone else to hold him up - he'd been struggling to hold it together since he'd run from his home and he felt weak because of it. 

Plus, Jensen's arms felt so good around him, strong and secure, and this was the moment Jared had been dreaming of for months. He wanted to climb up Jensen's body and never let go, he wanted to tuck up against Jensen and have the man keep him safe from all the horrible things in the world.

"I'm so sorry, Jared. This never should have happened to you. This... god you deserve so much better." Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared's temple - that, of course, caused Jared to shudder - then gently tugged him forward. "Come on, let me take you home. We'll get you cleaned up and taken care of."

Jared allowed Jensen to guide him to the car, trusting him effortlessly. It was like Jensen had worked his way into the deepest parts of Jared, making it so easy to just _know_ the man would never cause him any harm. So many hours on the phone, so many hours online, they knew everything about each other and Jared thought maybe he really could stay with Jensen forever. 

Everything blurred together after that, Jensen getting him into the car, the engine roaring as it started then evening out into a gentle purr. At some point it started raining and Jared stared out at the water forming tracks down the window. Everything felt so different, like this world was a completely different one from the one he'd woken up in, and Jared couldn't begin to settle his thoughts. 

"Jared? We're here now. Are you ready to head inside?"

He hadn't even realized the car had stopped moving. Jared turned from the window and blinked at Jensen, lifting a hand to rub gently over his swollen eye then hissing as it sent a burst of pain through him. 

"Try not to touch it. I think... some ice and Advil and that might help. Hopefully we won't have to take you in somewhere." Jensen laid a hand over his arm and squeezed softly. "Will you come inside now?"

"Okay," Jared whispered and it occurred to him it was the first time he'd managed to say anything. Glancing up he watched as Jensen smiled softly then lifted a hand to brush the back of his knuckles along Jared's cheek. 

The touch was so comforting Jared couldn't help leaning into it, ready to give himself completely to Jensen no matter what that might mean. 

Jensen's condo was two stories and nicely decorated, like something out of the magazines his mom always had scattered everywhere. Thinking all that just made Jared's heart ache - never talking to his mom again, never stepping in his house again - and he leaned just a little harder against Jensen's side. He was so tired he felt like he might just fall asleep right there.

"Baby? Think you can hang in there just a few minutes longer? We'll get you tucked in, get some meds and the ice. Everything else we can discuss in the morning, okay?" Jensen's voice was soothing, his breath warm against Jared's skin. 

Jared managed to nod and allowed Jensen to guide him up the stairs and down the hall, bumping once into the door frame before slumping in relief down on the bed. Warm fingers slid under his sweatshirt, pushing the hood back then the material up and off. Jared simply raised his arms and allowed Jensen to remove his clothing, wincing when it pulled the muscles along his side. 

When Jensen hissed Jared finally managed to focus, looking at wide bright green eyes - so much brighter than the picture, so beautiful they hurt to look at - before turning his gaze down to his own body. The skin was already bruised, deep purples and blacks, and Jared frowned at just how _bad_ that looked. 

"I can't go to a hospital," he managed to whisper but kept his gaze down. "I... my Dad meant it Jensen. I just know it. It was all over his face. If he sees me again he'll kill me, he would have tonight if I didn't get away. And my family - they just, no one stopped him. They were in the other room and they just let it happen. They don't care and I can't go to the hospital because they will want to know and what will I even say and I-"

"Jared," Jensen interrupted, resting fingers over Jared's lips and giving him a sad smile. "It's okay. You're going to be okay. They're just bruises and I think, as long as they don't get worse, you won't have to go anywhere. Let me just take care of you now."

Once Jared nodded, unable to get any more words out now that Jensen had cut off his flow, the man finished helping him out of his clothes until Jared was just in his boxers. He allowed Jensen to tuck him under the blankets and closed his eyes, listening to the fall of footsteps and dozing in and out until Jensen returned with medicine and ice. 

The last thing Jared felt before finally drifting off was the heat of Jensen's body sliding up against him, an arm securely around his middle. Jared sank back into the man's body and latched onto the one and only good thing left in his entire world. For now.

Of all the times Jensen imagined having Jared in his arms, it had never been like this. The boy's almost comatose attitude scared Jensen and he wanted so badly to help him but he felt so useless. Their first night together he simply held Jared, getting up twice in the night to replace the ice pack in hopes the swelling would go down. 

When he woke up in the morning Jared was standing at the window with his fingers pressed to the glass, staring out at his small back yard. Jensen had watched him silently for a few minutes and considered whether this was the best choice or not, allowing Jared to say here. Before he'd dropped Mike off the day before the man had told him to be careful, to think things through, to not let his heart cloud his decision but how was Jensen supposed to ignore that part of him that already cared so much for the boy?

Every part of him was aching for Jared, the sadness that was practically flowing in waves from the boy, and Jensen just wanted to race across the room and tug him close. But he remembered that feeling all too well and being faced with the idea of no longer having your family and being cast out in the world alone... it was overwhelming. More than. 

There was really nothing for Jensen to do but wait, look after Jared and be there when he finally needed someone to hold him up. 

So Jensen cooked him breakfast, they sat on the couch and watched a movie - and it took less than ten minutes for Jared to press up against Jensen's side and tuck in close. Jensen called in sick for work and even if Jared didn't say much through the course of the day he seemed to be processing through everything. 

That night Jensen showed Jared to the guest room, figuring it would be best for the boy to have some time alone for a while, and then lay awake in his own bed staring at the ceiling and wondering just what would happen now. Everything felt so up in the air and Jensen just kept thinking about kissing every inch of those sweet, delicate features. 

It was still shocking to accept just how _young_ Jared was, whether he’d subconsciously known it or not. Shocking and... goddamn hot. Jensen had spent the entire night before lying tucked up against Jared and thinking every unsexy thing imaginable just so he didn't get hard. Who was to say if they were even going to have that type of relationship now, after everything in Jared's life had changed. 

The second day Jensen was already almost finished making breakfast when Jared turned up. The swelling in his eye had definitely gone down quite a lot and Jensen was able to see both the bright hazel eyes clearly. Jared's shoulders still slumped slightly and Jensen thought his sadness was still tangible.

"Sleep well?" Jensen asked softly, hesitating just a moment before reaching out to brush his fingers through Jared's hair. 

Jared flinched then half smiled, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. "Yeah, I guess. Sorry, my hair has to be gross. I don't... I haven't showered. And I don't have any clean clothes to wear. I'm not sure what to do about that."

Jensen's jaw hung open for a moment and well, yeah, Jared was still dressed in the clothes Jensen had lent him the day before. _Duh_. He should have realized Jared needed _something_ to wear. He was just kind of waiting until Jared seemed more capable of speaking about what he had in mind for his future. Man, he was doing a real shitty job at showing Jared just how much he cared.

"Right, of course. You need clothes. And, and a bunch of things I'm sure. How about we finish up breakfast, you can take a shower and borrow something clean to wear then we'll head to the store." Jensen smiled, reaching out to lay his hand over Jared's and squeezing softly. 

He'd thought maybe that might help, maybe Jared would feel better knowing he was getting some new clothes, but the frown on the boy's face only deepened. His shoulders hunched and he ducked his head down, shaking it slowly from side to side. "We can't do that."

"Why not? You need something to wear, Jared, you can't just wear my things that don't fit you." Jensen shifted closer and slid his fingers gently along Jared's jaw. He heard the distinct sound of a sniffle and felt a warm water drop on his fingertip before he realized the boy was crying. "Oh no, Jared, god. Okay, I'm sorry, we don't have to buy you new clothes. You can stay in mine if you want to."

Jared choked on a louder sob and collapsed against Jensen, clambering off his chair and up onto Jensen's lap. "It's not- not that. You're so sweet, you're so nice to me and I can't- I can't pay for anything at all. You can't just buy it all for me, that's not fair, you're already letting me stay here and I can't do anything or give you money. I'm just some stupid kid that loves you and can't-"

Every word Jared continued to speak was breaking Jensen's heart so he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jared's in their first official kiss. Jared froze on his lap but Jensen continued the soft brush slide of their lips hoping he'd snap the boy from whatever overwhelming emotional tidal wave he was dealing with.

Just as he was about to pull back - because Jared still wasn't moving and Jensen thought maybe he'd completely changed his mind about their relationship - the boy's hands lifted to slide around his neck and pull him closer. The slow soft part of Jared's lips against his own made Jensen's heart flutter and he wrapped his arm around Jared's waist to tug him just a little closer. 

Heat crawled impossibly fast up through Jensen and he couldn't help moaning as Jared's tongue tentatively swept out to brush along his lips. He sucked the boy's tongue into his mouth then swept his own forward to taste the salty-sweet of Jared's mouth from the parts of his breakfast he'd eaten so far. It was, quite possibly, the best kiss Jensen had ever experienced and it was with a fourteen year-old boy that fit perfectly on his lap and squirmed forward in the hottest way possible.

"Jensen," Jared gasped as they broke the kiss, slumping against Jensen's chest. "That's not gonna make me forget that I have no money."

Jensen chuckled softly, pleased to see just a bit of Jared's normal - surprisingly clever - wit returning. "No? And here I thought I was a great kisser."

"You are a pretty good kisser but I'm pretty sure no one is good enough to make me literally forget something I was just saying." Jared smiled softly, his eyes fixed on the place his fingers traced Jensen's collar.

"Well, we shall see. I consider that a challenge." Jensen squeezed Jared's middle for a beat then grinned. "Look, I know you feel like you have to be responsible for buying your own things but right now it's just not an option. I have the money, I can afford to buy you some clothes, whatever you need. I'm not... I don't know exactly what's going to happen now but I promise I'm going to look after you."

Jared scrunched his nose up and bit at his lip. "Like some type of older brother?"

"If you want to be kinky like that," Jensen laughed and pressed a soft kiss to Jared's lips. "Like someone who loves you."

Finally Jared met his eyes, searching for some type of confirmation that Jensen desperately hoped was visible, then slowly smiled and nodded. "Okay. I guess I can be alright with that. Wouldn't want to keep borrowing your fashion-questionable clothing."

Jensen tipped his head back as he laughed and slid Jared from his lap. "Yeah, yeah, now eat some food and let's get a move on."

For the first time since Jared had called for his help Jensen finally let himself believe they really might have a chance of making it.

Jared stared at himself in the mirror, stepping forward to lay fingers over the scar just to the side of his eye. It was nearly healed now, over a week since the original injury, and Jared wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. After all, the injuries were kind of the last thing he had to remind him of his family - which was really fucked up but it was still something. 

Now Jared had new clothes, a new home - mostly - and was barely anything like the boy he once was. For years Jared had been insisting his family just didn't get him and it turned out to be so true it hurt. 

But he was tired of the pain and knowing there was nothing he could do about it. Jared was ready to move on with his life, especially if that meant having Jensen as a bigger part of the picture. Assuming Jensen wanted that. 

In the week he'd been living with the man there was that first night when Jensen had held him and their first kiss, long and deep and perfect, but that was it. Jensen had provided him with everything he could need, allowed Jared to stay there without question, but he couldn't shake the feeling that the man was just being friendly. 

After all, how could Jensen _really_ love him? Jared knew he wasn't what the man had thought he was, he was so young and now he was all alone and broken and just... all Jared wanted was to lie in his arms and kiss him until he couldn't breathe. Then he wanted to touch every inch of his body and feel the pressing heat as Jensen rolled on top of him, claimed him.

But Jared wasn't stupid; he knew that no matter how wonderful Jensen had been, their time together was probably coming to an end. He wasn't entirely sure what he'd do but Jensen was a smart guy, he'd come up with something and who was Jared to argue? 

"Mornin'," Jensen grunted as he passed Jared's bedroom, causing Jared to jerk back from the mirror and step quickly away.

He'd learned pretty quickly that the mornings after Jensen worked usually meant the man was in zombie state. He would stumble his way downstairs to the automatic coffee pot and usually not say more than a word or two until after a couple mugs full. Which didn't explain why Jensen was suddenly back in the doorway, blinking up at Jared with a faint smile. 

"What's up? You've got thinky face." Jensen scrunched his face up then grinned, leaning against the doorframe. "You okay?"

Jared blew out a shaky breath and considered how it was that Jensen seemed to know him so well already. "Maybe you should have some coffee first."

Brows drawing together, Jensen considered him for a long moment before nodding and stepping back. "Okay, let's go have some breakfast and some coffee and then we'll talk."

Jared had no real choice but to follow, which was okay because he'd pretty much willingly follow Jensen anywhere. As Jensen poured himself a cup of coffee Jared pulled out a pan and grabbed some eggs. In his secret little fantasies he could imagine this life for them, making meals together, stopping to share kisses and warm, fond smiles. That would be his perfect life: Jensen could become the family Jared had lost and Jared would do the same for him.

It was easy to make Jensen's eggs just like he liked them - over easy with the yolk just a little firm - to fix up his toast and set it before him at the table. It was a lot harder to make his own eggs - scrambled with cheese - and toast and sit beside him, trying to eat like it was all normal. Like he didn't have a million and one things to say and ask and _plead for_.

"Keep glaring, they might start eating themselves," Jensen murmured and Jared lifted his gaze from the eggs on his plate.

"Sorry. I. Sorry." Jared sighed and stabbed his fork into the eggs, stuffing a few pieces into his mouth. 

Jensen frowned and slowly set his fork down, lifting his coffee instead and draining the entire mug in one go. "Okay, I've had my coffee. Now tell me, what's wrong? I thought... well, it seemed like you were starting to feel better. You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I don't want to go," Jared blurted out, pressing his lips together and looking quickly down as he realized just how pathetic that had to sound. "I mean I just... I really like being with you. I love you even. And it's been so hard to lose my family I really don't want to lose you, too."

"Lose me?" Jensen sighed and pushed back from the table, shaking his head as he turned to Jared. "And where exactly are you going?"

Warm hands settled over his knees, slowly sliding up, and Jared stared down at the place where heat soaked through his jeans. Jensen's eyes showed so many emotions, the color something Jared would never be able to explain. They were gorgeous and it was so easy to stare down into them and think of never looking away. His heart fluttered with hope and he swallowed thickly to keep from latching onto it too soon.

"Away?" Jared suggested in a soft whisper, wetting his lips and forcing his gaze back to Jensen's. "You don't... why would you want me to stay here? What will you do with me? How will you afford to _keep_ me here? It's not like I can work, I haven't even started high school. So why-"

Like before, Jensen pushed up and cut Jared off by bringing their lips together in a slow, deep kiss. Jared fell into it because it was what he wanted, what he'd thought so much about from the first time it had happened. When they spoke online or on the phone Jared was always so capable, he could get Jensen off, they were _good_ and now... the only way Jensen knew how to handle him was apparently to kiss him just to stop the ramble.

"You don't want me." Jared gasped out as he pulled back from the kiss, laying his hands on Jensen's shoulders to keep him there. "You can tell me, Jensen, and I can handle it. I know I said- but I really can."

"Jared. You can't really think... _fuck_." Jensen pushed up and stood, pacing away from Jared, making his heart sink. "Do you realize how big of a risk it is for me to even have you here? Do you really think I'd take that risk if I didn't mean it when I said I love you? These last few months... god, you know everything about me, and I know - mostly - everything about you. I've fallen so hard for you and you are _all_ I want. I don't know exactly how we'll make it finance-wise but you can go to school online. We can figure this out. I want you _here_."

"But you stopped- you don't touch me. You didn't sleep in bed with me again. I thought..." Jared stood and reached out, snagging Jensen's wrist on his next pace by. "You were pushing me away."

"Because I thought you needed the space. It had nothing to do with not wanting you. Sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me, the way I feel for you but I can't get enough of it. Even if this has been the hardest week of your life and I hate how miserable you've been, it's been amazing for me. Just having you here, having you close, and I wanted to give you the chance to start feeling that way too."

Jared stared for a long moment then slowly grinned, tugging on Jensen's arm to pull him closer. "Not all miserable. Being here with you makes me happy, it's probably the only way I've managed to survive all of this. I don't need more time. I just need you, okay?"

Their eyes met and locked for a long moment then Jared had the extreme pleasure of watching a smile grew across Jensen's face. It had Jared's heart fluttering and he stepped forward, curling his fingers over Jensen's hipbones. They moved into the kiss at the same time this time, their lips sweeping and gliding together and instantly sending that burst of heat through Jared that he could really get used to.

Jensen's fingers slowly slid up into his hair and Jared moaned, pressing flush up against Jensen's body to deepen the kiss. His heart was racing already, his cock filling out and pressing against his jeans, and Jared had to tear back from the kiss to suck in a deep breath. "Jen, need more. Need you. Please? I don't want to wait anymore."

A deep groan rocked through Jensen and in the next moment Jared felt the hard dig of fingers in his thighs before the man lifted him up off the ground. Jared squeaked and wrapped his long thin legs around Jensen's middle, holding on tight and grinning down at him. Jensen smirked and led the way out of the kitchen. "Your wish is my command."

"That was so remarkably cheesy." Jared laughed and dipped down to press kisses along Jensen's neck. "Will you fuck me now? Like you said you would?"

Jensen moaned this time and spun to press Jared hard up against the wall and kiss him rough and deep. All the air rushed out of Jared's nose and his arms wrapped around the man to cling tight. When his lips parted Jensen's tongue was instantly there, sliding forward to map every inch exposed, and Jared whimpered as he rolled his hips hard against the firm body before him. All he could think about was Jensen's body over him, claiming him. Jared was desperate for it. 

"Yes," Jensen finally gasped into the slow part of their lips. His fingers dug into the curve of Jared's ass, pressing through the denim that Jared desperately wished was gone. He wanted that heated skin on his, wanted to feel Jensen touch every single inch of his body. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you'll never even think of another person again."

They moved from the wall in the next moment, Jensen almost stumbling as he carried them upstairs and into his bedroom. Jared had been pretty out of it last time he was in this room but he hadn't forgotten Jensen's bed. The man tossed him into the middle of his mattress and it was just as soft, the blanket just as fluffy. Jared rode out the tangle of nerves in the pit of his stomach and bit his lip as he squirmed backwards.

Jensen smiled softly at him and crawled up from the foot of the bed, tracing his fingers up along Jared's legs and pulling at his fly with slow tugs. Jared was already panting, his body tingling as he pushed his hips up and let Jensen pull his jeans and boxers off. It wasn't as nerve-wracking as he thought it might be, lying naked under Jensen and watching the man undress, but still he could feel the way his heart was racing.

"God, you are so damn beautiful," Jensen whispered as he kicked out of his sweats and climbed over Jared once more, sweeping hands down across his skin. "Can't even tell you how much I love you."

"I think I know though," Jared murmured and tugged Jensen up, kissing him deep and hard. He'd never get enough of their lips sliding together and the feel of Jensen's body settling over him was almost too much. Jared wasn't sure if he wanted to beg for more or tell Jensen to move because he couldn't take anymore.

And they'd hardly done anything yet.

Jensen's hands slid slowly down his sides and brushed over his crotch, bringing Jared's body up off the bed in a slow arc. Every inch of flesh Jensen's fingertips touched was like another little spark of lightning or something and by the time Jensen was on the bed between his spread legs Jared felt a little out of control.

So the first sweep of Jensen's tongue over his puckered tight hole was enough to send him snapping up and a stream of filthy words falling from his lips. Jared's hands dropped down to Jensen's hair, tangling into the locks and holding on. He'd never known a pleasure quite like the feel of Jensen's tongue gliding over his skin, the silky smooth heat that caused his body to tremble as each wave of pleasure washed over him.

"Jen, Jen, oh my god," Jared moaned and circled his hips slowly down onto the steady sweep of Jensen's tongue, biting at his lip to keep from doing something even more embarrassing like screaming or something. "More. More. _Please_ Jensen."

"Jesus fuck I could listen to you beg for hours," Jensen groaned, his forehead dropping to rest on Jared's hipbone as the tip of his finger teased at Jared's spit-soaked entrance.

Jensen's finger sliding slowly into him was much different than his own, thicker and longer, the heat causing his muscles to clench. He breathed deep just like Jensen had always told him to do whenever they spoke on the phone and spread his legs just a little wider, tugging on Jensen's hair restlessly.

Jared knew exactly what was coming next, which was strangely surreal, Jensen had described this to him so many times he could picture it perfectly. So the second finger sliding up into him wasn't really surprising but he gasped regardless, adjusting to the different stretch, the slight burn. It was addicting feeling something so unlike the sadness he'd been living with all week and Jared moaned loud enough it seemed to echo around them.

"You are just-" Jensen sucked in a breath that Jared could hear even over the way his pulse was racing in his ears and in the next moment the man slid up to press their lips hard together. "So perfect," he murmured into the kiss a few long minutes later, angling his wrist to add a third finger. 

Jared didn't think he was perfect at all but that was okay, he couldn't find the words to argue the issue at the moment. It was much easier to focus on the feel of Jensen's three fingers spreading him wide open, working his muscles apart in a way Jared had never been able to before. Then the next forward press of his fingers was right up against that spot Jared had never quite located right. 

"Jensen!" Jared called out, twisting on the bed and nearly pulling away completely. Yeah that was _definitely_ too much. "Need you now. Okay? I was so, I'm so close and I can't-"

"Shh it's okay, I've got you, right?" Jensen smiled softly and pulled his fingers free, brushing a gentle kiss to Jared's lips. "How do you want our first time to be? I've pictured so many positions."

Jared was surprised there was any blood left in his body to fuel the blush growing on his cheeks, especially since his cock felt like it was throbbing or something. One little touch and he'd probably explode. Just thinking about what position he wanted to try first made him feel a little out of control. 

"Like this," he finally managed to gasp out, falling onto his back and spreading his legs wide once more. "I want... want your weight over me, want to feel you everywhere."

"God, yes." Jensen moved swiftly, climbing between Jared's legs and stroking the remaining lube on his fingers over his cock. Jared stared with wide eyes as Jensen lined himself up, hooking Jared’s legs over his shoulders and lifting him up. Smooth fingers brushed along Jared's cheeks in a tender caress, fond smile on his lips. "Are you ready, baby?"

Jared swallowed thickly and nodded, breathing in slowly as Jensen pressed forward. The initial stretch and burn surprised Jared but not enough to stop. His eyes stayed fixed on the dark lust green of Jensen's and each breath felt shallow and long. "Jen..."

"You're okay. You're so perfect, Jared. So fucking tight. _Jesus_." Jensen rocked his hips just a little harder forward until he was completely buried in Jared and their foreheads pressed together. "It's never... god, it's never felt this good before."

A giddy little laugh rose up in Jared and he just barely bit it off, tilting up to brush their lips together. The burn was slowly starting to ease as Jared grew accustomed to Jensen filling him up, it was the best thing Jared had ever experienced and it had only just begun. "M-move," he gasped out, threading his fingers through Jensen's silky soft locks. "Claim me."

Jensen pressed a lingering kiss to Jared's lips before pulling back and thrusting hard forward. A slow moan rose up in Jared and Jensen didn't stop, picking up speed each time he buried himself in tight muscle and swiftly withdrew. For the first time Jared really noticed how much smaller he was than Jensen, the way the man could fuck into him over and over and continue the deep hard kiss. 

It was like Jensen covered every inch of him in all the best ways and Jared spread his legs just a little wider to wrap them around Jensen's waist and arch up into each sharp thrust. The slap of their bodies was loud in the room, echoing out between their harsh pants and shared moans. 

"Jen, oh god, yes, right there," Jared moaned out the words, shuddering as Jensen's cock slammed right up against that spot in him that sent sparks sliding through every part of him. Jensen pressed hands onto the mattress on either side of Jared's shoulders and thrust harder, aiming to hit that spot over and over again. 

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ this is so... oh god Jared. I love you so fucking much." Jensen groaned and worked his hips in slow rolls with each thrust, trying to work his cock even deeper with every thrust.

Jared's heart fluttered in his chest and he rocked back to meet the next thrust, feeling that familiar tingling rise of his orgasm. "T-touch, Jen, so close. Need to-"

Jensen shoved a hand down between them and curled his fingers around Jared's cock, stroking swift in time with the sharp pace of his hard thrusts. That was all it took for Jared to lose the control he was barely holding onto. Moaning out his lover's name he arched up and clenched around Jensen's cock, tugging on his hair as his orgasm hit. 

"Oh fucking god damn so hot," Jensen moaned and Jared would have laughed if his orgasm wasn't so all-consuming. It was kind of adorable, the way he'd somehow reduced Jensen down to so many swear words.

A few quick thrusts later Jensen's hips suddenly stilled, their lips crushing hard together as Jensen hit his own peak. Jared soaked in the feeling of his racing heart, the way he felt happier than he had in so very long. Everything had been building up to this moment from the very first time he and Jensen had spoken online and Jared couldn't help grinning. 

"I love you more than anything," Jared breathed, watching as Jensen slowly pulled back and beamed down at him, brushing their lips softly together. "It doesn't bother you?"

"That there's come drying on my chest? Maybe a little." Jensen scrunched up his nose then laughed, pulling slowly free from Jared and flopping to the side only to roll over and tug him close. 

Jared half laughed and scooted back against Jensen's warmth. "No, not that, we can shower later. Just, the age thing, you know? You never said. I know that you love me and I love you too but doesn't it bother you? What sort of relationship can we have? You're like... twice my age."

"Oh gee, thanks." Jensen huffed, pressing a small kiss to Jared's shoulder. "It doesn't bother me, Jared. Maybe it should, I likely should be having a freak out moment or something but just... we're in this now, you and me and nothing is going to change that. We can have a relationship, a fucking fantastic one, we just have to work on building it up and learning what works for us. Trust me, there's no way I'm letting you go now, okay?"

Jared's heart swelled and he twisted around to face Jensen, crushing their lips hard together. "I do. I trust you. Not gonna let you go either."

"Good," Jensen murmured and pressed Jared down into the mattress once more. "Now," he spoke against Jared's neck as he worked kisses along his skin. "You mentioned something about a shower?"

With a bright grin Jared nodded and wrapped his arms slowly around Jensen. "Have I mentioned how glad I am you're not a slimy old guy lately?"

Jensen laughed, biting down gently on Jared's neck. "Yeah, yeah, Sir Dimples. Get your lazy ass to the bathroom before I have to carry you."

**Epilogue**

"What's this?" Jared frowned as Jensen set the wrapped box in front of him on the kitchen table, pausing with his spoon hovering halfway to his lips. 

Jensen grinned and dropped down into the extra seat, pushing the box just a little closer. "It occurred to me - what with you spontaneously moving in and everything - that I didn't get you a birthday gift. So, happy belated birthday."

Jared stared at Jensen for a long while, eyes wide, flush growing on his cheeks. Jensen expected to hear protests, Jared was pretty good at that protesting thing, but a beat later the boy was reaching out and tugging the box closer. 

A grin grew across Jensen's face as Jared tore the paper away. He leaned back in his chair and grabbed a file, his grin growing when Jared sucked in a surprise gasp. When he turned back Jared was staring down at the laptop box, his fingers trailing slowly over the smooth cardboard. 

"This is too much," Jared whispered though his fingers had already begun picking at the tape to open the box. "Jen... god, seriously?"

"Well I figure you need your own. If you're going to get through your education." Jensen laid the folder in his hands on top of the box, maybe a little too proud of himself. 

When he'd mentioned it before it was just as they were getting settled, still trying to figure each other out. Now though it only made sense and Jensen had found it remarkably easy to sign Jared up. It didn't necessarily solve all of their problems but it was something, a big step, and Jensen thought maybe Jared would feel better about having a _purpose_.

"You are so amazing," Jared breathed then shoved out of his chair, arms tightening around Jensen as he clambered up onto his lap. "I will pay you back somehow, I promise."

Jensen grinned and slipped his arms around the boy, tugging him just a little closer. He never got tired of having Jared in his arms and it was worth working a few extra shifts to make it happen more often. 

"Did it cost a fortune?" Jared asked as he pulled back, sliding his fingers back through Jensen's hair.

"You're worth it." Jensen trailed his thumb down Jared's jaw, dipping in so their lips could brush together. Their future was likely to be rocky, Jensen had already braced himself for that, but he was confident it would be completely worth it. "I love you, Jared."

"Yeah Jen, I love you, too." Jared grinned then slid off Jensen's lap, eagerly darting around to check out his new laptop. 

"No meeting random strangers online." And it was kind of perfect, the way Jensen's heart fluttered at Jared's answering laugh.


End file.
